Akatsuki Lair
by Waca
Summary: When Deidera complains about his death, Pein shows the Akatsuki members a video from a hidden camera  these are some scenes of the daily life of our dear Akatsuki dudes ! Mainly SasoriDeidera. Itachi's secret chibi part2 uploaded ! Have fun !
1. Prologue

**Akatsuki Lair**

**Disclaimer : **I do not own Naruto...if I did, it wouldn't be Naruto but Neji... 

**Beware** ! This is a fic written following to the 364e chapter of Naruto ! If you don't read online, and only read the book and watch the anims, this will tell you all about the continuation ! 

**Prologue : how have I decided to start this fic**

"But goddam iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit ! Why did I die ? WHY WHY WHY ? I was becoming so great ! Whyyyyyyyy..." 

This was Deidera, actually, crying loudly, furiously hitting Sasori's puppets and making explosions everywhere. 

" Dummy, Kishimoto boss killed me too ! See, you aren't the fucking only one !" said Hidan 

" But hell ! You were such an idiotic idiot, yeah, Hidan ! You were an ass, yeah, you didn't even know the meaning of art ! Waaaaaaaaaaaah ! I was so handsome in the outfit I wore under my Akatsuki cloak ! Oh shit, shit, shiiiiiiiiit !!! Kishimoto I'll blast you !!! "whined Deidera louder and louder. 

The door openned, and Kisame's head popped in. 

" Er...Deidera ? Itachi is trying to have some sleep. Can you please shut up ?" 

" SINCE WHEN ITACHI NEEDS SLEEP ? ARE YOU HIS NURSE, KISAME??? LET ME CRY ALONE !!! " 

" Well, it seemed that discovering he wasn't the only Uchiwa bastard depressed him. So, please shush !" pleaded Kisame, "and you know, your death was impressive ! I didn't know you were that powerful ! Also, see, I've regretted you and..." 

"SHUT IT, SHUT IT !!! _You _aren't dead ! We've seen you since the every beginning of the Akatsuki, and you aren't even dead yet ! _I _am ! And I had lot of fantastic flashbacks, yeah, where I was so cute and Itachi so ugly!!!" 

"OK, OK Deidera, people were beginning to like you, but this is how the life goes !" snapped Kisame 

" WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!" mourned Deidera, and soon the room was soaked, but it didn't bother Kisame who liked to swim a lot, especially with surfers in Australia. 

The door openned again, and Sasori entered. 

"Brat, you're going to make me mad ! Didn't I tell you hundreds of time I hated noise?" Sasori scowled. 

But Deidera, as an answer, bounced to hug him, almost strangling him -_almost_ because he's a puppet, of course-, crying louder. 

"Sasori-danna, Kishimoto-boss killed me !!! Waaaaaaah !!! And don't call me brat, danna, because I'm taller than you, yeah, and you look younger than me !" 

"You're dead?" frowned Sasori, still not noticing his puppets in little pieces. 

"Yeah! Kishimoto-boss made me explode myself ! That was so ridiculous ! I didn't even saw my blast beacause I was dead ! That's not art, it's madness, yeah !" 

"You know, in Japan, being a kamikaze is a honour, it's kind of rooted in their culture," explained Sasori, trying to push Deidera away. 

"But here it was so stupid !!! I could have joined Sasuke-kun and his funny and young mates ! This way, I could have killed that bastard of Itachi, yeah, and I could at last be with people of my age ! This is no fun, danna !" 

"Do you think _my _death was fun, Deidera ? Fucking god, a stupid boy trapped me and made me explode, and, above all, he burried me ! I can't die, and I'll never be able to repare my fucking body ! This sucks !"barked Hidan. 

Deidera cried with excitement, hugging tight Sasori who growled. 

"Danna, danna, hey danna !!!" 

"Yeah" managed to answer Sasori half crushed by the clay artist. 

"Danna, we are finally agreeing about art, yeah !" 

"???" 

"Yeah, Danna, Hidan was destroyed in a beautiful BANG, and, still, is eternal !!! That is better than art, it is Art with a big A !" 

-sigh from Sasori- 

"Come on, everybody, please shut up for Ita..." Kisame began 

"I DON'T CARE ABOUT ITACHI, I HATE HIM !!!" yelled Deidera. 

Then, the Akatsuki boss appeared, waving a DVD. 

"Hello my little friends! Look what I brought for you !" 

Deidera jumped away from Sasori, trying to catch the DVD. 

"what is it, boss, what is it? Tell me, tell me, yeah!" he shouted 

"Shut it, Deidera, it's the DVD with all what the hidden cameras from our hidden places have filmed ! 

"WHAT???" yelled them all. 

"you're kidding?"said Itachi's voice from the door. 

"Of course not! Bring some sofas, cushions, armchairs and whatever, turn of the light and turn the TV on ! Camera...ACTION!!!" 

-raclings from the sofas and armchairs- 

-twew! the TV on- 

-dzzz the DVD in- 

- clic! the light off- 

"_Akatsuki Lair, episode 1... a film by..." _begun the movie... 

Then... 

"DEIDERA, YOU BRAT!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY PUPPETS???" 

"Oups..." 

Here ! Hope you liked it ! The episode1 will be...in the next chapter. Bye and please...review!!! 

Waca 


	2. Episode 1 : but dannayou're cute

Hello there...well, one review is better than no reviews, still I'll pray for more reviews. 

As so you know, this isn't a yaoi fic, but for those who like yaoi, the friendship between Deidera and Sasori can be taken as. 

Okay now, the **bolds**will be our watching Akatsuki members, whereas the normal writing will be the DVD...enjoy ! 

**Episode one** : _but Danna...you're cute..._

A dark, gloomy, eerie, cold place. 

That was all Deidera could think of this Akutsuki hideout. 

"This place really needs some art" muttered the clay artist while following the scraping frame of Sasori. 

And why were there so many corridors ? And so few lamps ? And- 

**"Hey, boss, hey ! If this a hidden camera, why is it following us, yeah?"**

**"Just shut it, Deidera."**

**"Ok, ok, but..." - grumbles-**

Sasori suddenly stopped in front of a large door. 

"Here we are, brat. This is our room." 

As they entered, Deidera almost jerked out : on the shelves were hundreds of dead things like rats or human hands, floating in the alcohol of its jars. 

"D-DANNAAAAA, WHAT THE HECK IS THAT!?!?!" shrieked Deidera 

"Hn? Oh, it's only Orochimaru's collection. He was my precedent partner, so these shelves are yours now. You can blast everything out if you want too." 

Deidera's eyes sparkled. 

**"You shouldn't have said that, you know, Sasori."**

**"..." -Sasori's answer-**

WAM!!! 

Actually, Deidera DID blast Orochimaru's collection of weird things. But the room wasn't used yet to that kind of art, and was filled with smoke, and plaster from the ceiling fell down ; the furniture trembled, the only concealed window shattered, Sasori was pushed against the wall in spite of Hiruko's weight. Deidera giggled loudly but no sound was being heard from Sasori's mouth. 

The puppeteer, flabbergasted, waited for the smoke to break up, and stared at the mess with a growing anger. 

Then, Deidera turned around, grinning stupidly (that's from Sasori's pov of course). 

"Er, danna, is it bad if you'll have to buy me new shelves ? I thought they would be more, er, solid, un ?" 

Sasori's face -that is to say Hiruko's one as Deidera did not know it was a puppet- didn't show a single emotion, but suddenly Deidera saw himself being pinned against the wall by a gigantic scorpion tail. He yelped, trying to tear his clothes out of the sting, which was trickling with a purple liquid that was certainly not blackberry juice ! 

"D-DANNA!" 

"Where do you think you are, brat ?" bellowed Sasori, "This is my room as much as your's, and even more ! Try to blow anything else and I promise you a long and painful death !" 

"D-danna, p-please..." murmured Deidera, feeling more and more dizzy. 

His body was getting numb, his eyelids threatening to close, and they did fell on his blind eyes, as Deidera lost consciousness. This did not bother Sasori, and he certainly would have let him die right there if Kisame hadn't step into the threshold, roaring; 

"What the Hell happenned here? The whole lair must have been shaken ! Are you trying to invoque some earthquakes?" 

"Get out." 

"You'll have to -but you've stabbed the kid ! Are you mad ? Cure him or the leader will-" 

"Out!" 

And Kisame was rudely pushed out of the room. 

**"Hey how come that ugly puppet threw me out of here ? I'm not a lousy fish!"**

**"Yes, you are. And Hiruko isn't ugly."**

**"Just repeat that, redhead? And I wasn't talking of Hiruko!"**

**WAM!**

**"WAAAAAHHHH!!! YOU'RE DEAD KID !"**

**"Don't you dare talk of my pretty danna like this again, tuna !"**

**"STOP IT NOW!"**

Slowly, Sasori's removed his sting, letting Deidera collapse on the floor. With a sight, the puppeteer examined the boy and realized he had scratched him with the poisoned sting, which would have never happened if Deidera hadn't damaged his scorpion tail with that damn explosion. Now sure that the boy wouldn't awake, Sasori got out of Kiruko to give him an antidote. He dragged the clay artist on Orochimaru's bed and openned his mouth to make him swallow the antidote. Deidera coughed as the liquid tasted horrible, and openned his eyes, blinking. 

Sasori mentally swore as Deidera's eyes widened; 

"Wh-who are you ?" 

"Shut it, brat, and go to sleep. You don't need to know" growled the puppeteer, hoping the kid would forget about it after his sleeping. 

But Deidera sit on the bed, glaring at him, then at Hiruko. 

"You..._are my danna, _aren't you ! I'm not _that _stupid !" 

"What? I-" 

"I mean, danna, un, who could have been as ugly as this crawling _thing ? _That was just impossible !" 

Sasori's eyes sharpened when he heard about Hiruko's beauty. He pushed, hard, the boy back on his bed. 

"Don't you _ever_ talk of this to anyone, understood, brat ?"he hissed, making Deidera shiver, "or I'll kill you for real. Now sleep !" 

Deidera whimpered a little when the antidote began to make him sleepy. He caught a last glance of Sasori, admiring his thin face, his red-rose hair and his dark eyes, and grabbed his sleeve before Sasori could stand out of the bed. 

"_What _are you doing, brat_?"_

_"_Y-you're mean, danna..." murmured the blonde. 

"Of course I am, I am a nukenin!" 

"But danna...you're cute..." 

Deidera's voice died and he fell asleep, still gripping Sasori's sleeve. The puppeteer shivered, unsure of how to take that remark. Looking at the mess around him, he smiled meanly. 

"Cute, cute...tomorrow I'll send you to Kakuzu, to see how you'll explain him you've got to buy new shelves..." 

That's all, my friends ! Now tell me what are your feelings about it ? Is my fic a piece of shit? Am I losing time writing it ? Please reviews ! 

Waca 


	3. Episode 2 : money money

Well well well ! Thanks for everybody who reviewed ! I was so pleased ! Thank you, that really boosts me ! So I'll go on. Chapter 2, GO ! 

**_Episode 2 : Money money_**

Deidera was standing in the corridor, shivering a little. 

**"Hey, why is the second episode still about me, un ?"**

**"Cause you're the most funny, of course."**

**"Ah...thanks leader. Does that mean I'm the most ridiculous ?"**

**"Well don't worry, the next episode is about..."-whispers in Deidera's ears-**

**"OH YEAAAAAAAAHHHH !!! LEADER YOU'RE SO GREAT!!!"**

"HIDAN I'LL TEAR YOUR HEART OUT OF YOUR BLOODY BODY !!!" 

Deidera jerked . Oh, why did he blast his shelves? This Kakuzu seemed so mad ! 

"NO YOU WON'T, FUCKING YOU!!! I'LL PUT EVEN MORE BLOOD EVERYWHERE AND YOU WON'T KILL ME THAT WAY, DAMN IT!!!" 

Oh, great. Kakuzu's partner seemed even crazier than Kakuzu. Deidera stepped back. 

"Are you afraid, brat ?" crooned Sasori's voice through Hiruko's mask. 

"Nay, danna, un !" replied proudly Deidera, and he knocked at the door. 

Toc, toc, toc. 

"Hidan, you are gonna wash everything here and I forbid you to use any kind of soap, washing powder or whatever that is expensive !" 

"FUCK YOU, KAKUZU!!! HOW DO YOU WANT ME TO WASH IT ? LICKING IT ?" 

Deidera gulped and knocked harder on the door ; TOC, TOC, TOC ! 

And the door flew open, revealing a dark, furious shape. 

"Are you trying to break the door, you tiny little flea ? Do you know the price of a door ? Do-" 

"Hello, Kakuzu. Had some problem with your new partner ?" cut Sasori. 

Deidera was livid. 

Kakuzu turned his face to Sasori, nodding. 

"You can't imagine, Akasuna. I can't understand why the leader hired that completly dumb person ! I mean, he's a Jashinist, he puts blood everywhere ! How can I possibly make some economies if we've got to clean the beds, furniture, floor and walls ? He's a total waste of money ! Last time, he even bought the most expensive nail polish, the one that had diamond powder in it !" 

Hidan, smiling evilly, stuck his hand over Kakuzu's shoulder, barking ; 

"Have a look ! Aren't my nails gorgeous ? Jashinists must be elegant." 

Kakuzu shoved him back into the room, growling through his teeth ; 

"You aren't showing up until you clean that room !" 

Big curses were heard while Kakuzu politely cocked his head down to the trembling clay artist. 

"Who's that kid ?" 

"That's my new partner. He's got something to tell you" said sweetly Sasori, but through Hiruko his voice sounded mocking. 

Kakuzu looked down at Deidera. 

"Well, kid ?" 

Deidera writhed, completly terrorized. 

"I...un...er...rhem..." 

"I'm sorry but I can't understand you. Hurry up, you're making me losing time, and time is money !" 

"SasoridannatoldmeIcouldblastoutOrochimaru'stuffandIdidbuttheshelvesweren'tsolidandsoIneednewones !" blurted out Deidera the fastest he could. 

Kakuzu seemed to blink, but it was hard to be sure of it because of his mask. 

"I didn't understand a word, you girly. Can't you just speak normally ? You're getting on my nerves !" 

Deidera could hear Hidan giggle from behind Kakuzu and he was almost sure he could sense his danna's chuckle too. 

"I...blasted my shelves, un." 

Kakuzu froze dangerously. 

"I mean, un, if it's too...too much money, I don't really need some, yeah ?" added swiftly the clay artist. 

Kakuzu nodded and began to close his door, but Sasori cut trough Deidera's relief. 

"Nonsense, brat ! You _need_ _new _shelves !" 

"Hell girly! Do you know the price of shelves ? I'm gonna tear your heart off !!!" belowed Kakuzu, and horrible, black, tentacle-like strings flew out of his dark coat. 

Deidera jumped back, but his shoulders hurt the wall behind him and yelped with terror 

"Pityful..." sneered Kakuzu, and he slamed the door behind him. 

Deidera sighed with relief. 

Sasori turned over and started leavind. 

"Hey, wait danna, un ! Wait for me ! Don't leave me here, yeah !" 

"You aren't going with me" snapped Sasori, "I need to do some work and I don't want you in the room when so." 

"W-why, un?" 

"Because." 

"But what am I gonna do, yeah?" 

"Whatever." 

"That isn't an answer ! And...oh hey, danna, I had a strange dream yesterday !" 

"..." 

"I dreamt you were a readhead boy hiding in a horrible puppet ! Isn't that funny ?" 

"Do you mean _I _am horrible?" 

Sasori's voice was quite dangerous. So Deidera answered rapidly ; 

"Er no, I didn't mean that, yeah, danna...er...I'll look for the other members, yeah, see you !" 

And he left the puppeteer. Inside Hiruko, Sasori was frowning. Was Hiruko _that_ ugly ? It couldn't be, Hiruko was _art_ ! 

**"Is that all?" said Kisame, surprised**

**"This episode is so short, sir !"**

**"Let's have a little break" proposed leader Pein.**

**"No, leader, no, yeah ! I wanna see the next one now !"**

**"No Deidera, we're having a break. No arguing !"**

**Deidera pouted. Kisame bent and asked him in a very low voice.**

**"Seriously, kid, _who _is the next episode about?"**

**"Un...don't tell...it's _Itachi_..." sniggered the Clay artist.**

**That was gonna be fun...**

Okay now that's all ! Bye everyone and please review !!! I love reviews ! Hugs 

Waca 


	4. Episode 3 : Itachi's chibi secret, part1

Hey there thanks everyone for your reviews !

Now here is the third episode, hope you enjoy it !

**Episode 3 : Itachi's secret chibi –first part **

**"Hey, ev'rybody, heeeeeeeyyyy !!!" **

**"What's up Tobi ?" **

**"Pein is about to put the third episode !" **

**"OH YEEEEEEEEAAAAHHH !!!" yelled Deidera, and he ran in the living room and bounced into the sofa. **

**The Akatzuki members came one by one and sat in a circle, looking at the black screen. **

**Pein took his DVD and smiled evilly, with his rinnegan (eyes) shining quite nastily. **

**"Here…" **

**Tiuw ! Dzzz… **

**The voice rushed out of the TV ; **

_Akatzuki Lair, episode three ! Itachi's secret chibi ! _

**"WHAAAAAAAAAA????" **

**Itachi stood up and tried to snatch the remote control from Pein, but Konan came between them, Deidera was shouting that the three of them were in front of the screen, Sasori was blocking his ears, Kisame trying to wave his sword but the ceiling was too low, Zetzu talking with his giant dionaea, Tobi snickering at Itachi, Kakuzu hitting Hidan because he was bored, and Hidan yelling he wanted a porn movie. **

**"KATON !" **

**"be careful danna!" **

**"SUITON!" **

**" NO KISAME ! NOT YOUR TSUNAMI YOU JACKASS !!!" **

**A Giant wave filled the room, the Akatzuki members were all soaked and thrown on the floor, the light switched off, and the TV died of short circuit. **

**Deidera grabbed Sasori who was floating and caught in a stream as Tobi had opened the door. Zetzu hadn't even blinked and was still having a conversation with himself. Hidan was asking Kisame another tsunami for he had found the feeling of drowning very pleasant. Kisame said sheepishly ; **

**"Er…sorry leader, I just wanted to help !" **

**Someone tapped his shoulder and Kisame turned around. He paled. **

**"I hope you've got money, because ceiling, towels, electricity and TV is very expensive" crooned Kakuzu, " you've got the money, haven't you?" **

**"erm…hey Totchi-kun is gone !!!" he hurled, hoping to change the conversation. **

**Thus Pein realized Itachi had taken the DVD and disappeared. Konan, who as a paper girl with no waterproof mascara hated to be soaked, joined her hands for a jutsu and left them in a paper storm. **

**"I'm bringing him back. Have fun." she said **

**Tobi scratched his head and stated with sadness ; **

**"So we've got no more movie of Itachi-kun?" **

**"Don't worry –and Deidera, stop crying- Konan and I had foreseen that, I've got a copy here !" **

**" YOU DO??? LEADER YOU'RE SO GREAT !" yelled Deidera in Sasori's ears. **

**Sasori groaned and, covering his poor ear, mocked ; **

**"Did Konan and you foresee Kisame's tsunami, leader-sama ? Because we're out of TV." **

**Pein sweet dropped. Then ; **

**"Let's rent a cinema ! Come on, it'll be even better on a full screen !" **

**Deidera giggled crazily and began dancing like an Indian. Sasori was looking annoyingly at his soaked wooden limbs. Kakuzu blinked, stopped strangling Kisame with his tentacles and asked politely ; **

**"I beg your pardon, leader-sama? Cinema is awfully expensive !" **

**"Itachi will pay it, don't worry Kakuzu ! Now let's go !" **

**Kakuzu took out a notebook and wrote down something, whispering through his teeth; **

**"Uchiwa…Itachi…cinema…" **

**The Akatzuki then left their lair and went to the nearest city. They parked Hiruko and Deidera's giant bird in the parking lot and entered the cinema. Sasori creased his nose, disgusted **

**"ew…it's smelling really bad !" **

**" yeah, I agree with you, this place actually stinks and –owww !!!_ Icha Icha _****_Paradise_**** !!! I didn't know there was a movie !!! Leader can I…?" **

**"No, Hidan." **

**"Why not? Your DVD sucks, there's no masochist sex in it !!!" **

**-no comment- **

**Pein asked for a room, Kakuzu right behind him with his pen making _scritch scritch scritch_. Deidera and Tobi came back with giant boxes and Sasori jerked back **

**" What the _blaze _is that, brat ? That is what was _stinking _!" **

**"That's called pop-corn, danna, un!" **

**"Well that smells like Hell !" **

**"It only smells like melted butter, danna. And mmm, danna ?" **

**"What ?" **

**"I like it when you say that word" **

**"Which one, brat ?" **

**" _Blaze, _danna…that's a so beautiful world, especially in your _eternal _mouth" **

**And then, Sasori very maturely sticked his tongue out to him. **

**Pein came back, looking satisfied. **

**"Okay it's fine members, let's go !" **

**"Didn't the guy recognized us ? After all, we're S-rank nukenins !" said Kisame. **

**"Oh no, don't worry, but where's Hidan?" **

**"Gone, he wanted to watch _Icha Icha Paradise_." **

**"Anyway let's go !" **

**And they entered the room. **

Here I'm done for today my friends, I'll do more next time. Bye and please review !


	5. Episode 3 : Itachi's chibi secret, part2

Whoa…really, I love reviews. But if there's something which really annoy me, it's people who put my story in their fav and do _not _leave me any review !

Now, let's stop the complaining, I'd like to thanks the ones who did let a review : so, smiley-chan06, Jess888, aicornduong, amberuni151, Aurelle, Patka91, the stranger dude and Lucy Sumeragui, thank you very much !

Please keep reviewing me, because I've got a lot of work and not much time to write.

**Episode 3 : Itachi's secret chibi –part 2 **

Kisame loved the quiet afternoons, when he could lock himself in the bathroom and fill the tub with soap bubbles. He would then summon a few little fishes to play with and stay hours paddling in his bath.

Itachi hated when he did so, for the bathroom would smell like fish during all the evening, and for Kisame usually used all his shampoo. Yeah, Itachi's shampoo was quite expensive, and Itachi would mankekyou anyone who would try using it, but Itachi's shampoo also smelled a very delicious fruit perfume, so anyone who knew where he was keeping it would often try to stole some.

But for once, Itachi wasn't there. He wouldn't complain about the bubbles, the splashing noise, the talking –yeah, Kisame speaks with his fishes- and, more importantly, the shampoo ! Kisame jumped in his bath and summoned his favourite fishes : Nemo, Suigetsu and Phumbaba.

**"Hey, leader, hey ! I thought this episode was about the Uchiwa !" **

**"Well it is !" **

**"No it isn't, un ! We only see tuna-head bathing ! That's horrible ! Only Hidan would appreciate the sight !" **

**There was a big THUMP and Kisame withdrew his hand, moaning _aoutch aoutch aoutch my hand _. **

**Deidera blinked and asked Sasori **

**"Hey, danna, what has he tried ?" **

**"Hitting you." **

**"Well I didn't felt anything, un." **

**"That's because he hit me unstead of you, brat." **

**"Oh! Are you okay, danna ?" **

**"Of course I am ! Who do you think I am ?" **

**"Hey, aoutch ! Can't you worry for me ?" whined Kisame **

**"No, you're really too creepy in a bathtub !" **

Then, somebody knocked at the door.

Big, big shit ! Itachi wasn't there to answer ! He had to get out of his bath ! Cursing, Kisame got out of the tub, dressed himself with a towelling dressing-gown –it was blue with little sharks- and unlocked the door, crossed the bedroom and opened the door.

There was nobody.

Kisame now was really annoyed. Couldn't the jerk who knocked at his door have waited just a second for him to answer ?

**"Of course not, I hate waiting" said Sasori at loud **

Furious, he slammed the door and crossed back the bedroom, putting large pools all the way long.

With a sight, he withdrew his bathrobe and joined Nemo, Suigetsu and Phumbaba.

A few minutes later, a strange noise was heard and a huge plant appeared right in the middle of the bathroom.

"auuuuuggggghhhhhh!!!! Zetsu you scared me !!! Get out of here, can't you see I'm naked !!!"

**"What is making you laugh, girly ?" **

**"No-nothing pffff, tuna-head, just that you look sooooo ridiculous –THUMP- aoutch ! Danna he hit me !" **

**"Did it well, you're so noisy." **

**Deidera gasped, frustrated ; **

**"_noisy_, danna you're kidding ! When you ask for lullabies by night, you won't dare call me noisy!" **

**"shut it brat! I don't…" **

**"Just let it, Akasuna, I've got this one too in the DVD" sneered Pein. **

**Now Sasori began to really think about the way he could snatch this DVD from all these mad nukenins… **

Zetsu pulled a face at Kisame.

"Leader-sama sent me there because no one in your room was answering. I've got mail for the Uchiwa. _Tss, naked…he doesn't even look tasty, ew._"

"Well just put it there and go !"

"_Can't we have some of Itachi's shampoo? It smells tasty…_I need a signature, 'cause there's a parcel."

"Okay then"

So Kisame got out of the tub, put on his bathrobe, went in the room to look for a pen and signed. Zetsu left the parcel and a letter and disappeared.

Now Kisame was really in a bad mood ! Even when he wasn't there, Itachi wasted his bath !

"Anyway, who would even write to him ?"

He took the letter and looked at the stamp.

_Konohagakure _

"What the Hell ? A letter from Konoha ? That's nonsense, he's a nukenin !"

Then an evil thought popped in Kisame's head. He made a jutsu and opened the letter, who appeared to not being protected by any jutsu. It was certainly a civil who wrote it.

Kisame took the pink letter, frowning at its colour and unfolded it to read.

_Dear fan666, _

_It's been I while since I've last written to you. I'm sorry, but I had lost your last address. _

_There're a few changes here in Konoha. _

_The chuunin exams are coming soon, and Sasuke-kun is doing well. I've been told his sensei, the copy ninja, was going to register him for the exam. _

_Sasuke-kun is the best, we all know so, but I've made a little investigation and I've found out that the Hyuuga prodigy was going to pass the chuunin exam too. This will be quite an interesting show : byakugan versus sharingan. I wonder who would win, because I'm not quite sure it would be Sasuke-kun. Anyway, the USFA is still moving, I've sent you in the parcel – I do hope you've received it- its last creation. Enjoy ! _

_Hugs, fangirl007 _

Whoa. Itachi was one of his little brother's fans ? No way.

**" AAAAAAAAAAHHHH I LOVE THIS ONE!!!" **

**"Can't you stop yelling in my ear, brat?" **

**"Sorry danna, but hey tuna-head, what is the USFA???" **

**"The Uchiwa Sasuke Fangirl Association…and what did you call me again?" **

Kisame glared at the parcel, blinking. Would he… of course he would ! Itachi ruined his bath !

He grabbed at the parcel, made a jutsu and opened it wide.

And gasped.

…In the parcel was a little Sasuke chibi doll.

**" OKAY MEN IT'S ENOUGH ! PUT YOUR HANDS UP AND SURRENDER !!!" **

**"Shit, un. Who are they?" **

**"ANBU, duh" made Hidan's voice **

**"What on heck are you doing here Hidan? I thought you were watching _Icha Icha Paradise_ ?" **

**"Well, yeah, but I'm afraid that this fucking copy ninja recognized me…" **

**-THUMP- **


End file.
